New York Times Blockbuster Report: Trump is a Jerk

In a devastating show of journalistic prowess, The New York Times, pictured above, has published an in-depth look at Donald Trump’s testimony from his many appearances in The Rich People’s Court, starring Samuel “The Bag Man” Alito.

Hundreds of pages of sworn testimony by Mr. Trump over the past decade show something less flattering. Some of his claims, made under oath, and under pressure, are shown to be hyperbolic overstatements, and others to be shadings of the truth or even outright misstatements. And in rare instances, he turns boorish and demeaning.
– via www.nytimes.com

This report calls into question Mr. Trump’s stellar reputation for being a…um…<consults legal team>…person of interest in the GOP’s Whitening the White House Campaign Tour 2016.

With this report, and other standout articles such as: Criminal Investigation Into Clinton’s Emails, Marco Rubio’s Career Bedeviled by Financial Struggles, and Rubios on the Road Have Drawn Unwanted Attention, the Old Gray Lady has shown its Reddit Credit and become the Newspaper of Record for Truthiness (© Stephen Colbert).

According to our sources deep inside the NYT bar, the next jaw-dropping expose from the Times will be: Barak Obama Is Really An Africa American! Who knew?

Is that a Poolitzer I smell?

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