The Measure of A Man

Introducing the Penile System

So this is the new bone of contention for the Gulpers of Pills (GOP)…


Yes, ladies and gentlemen, the qualifications for running for president just got bigger.

And this was thrust on us by Marc Rubio.

“He said I have small hands — I’m actually 6’3″, not 6’2″ — but I’ve always heard people say, ‘Donald, you have the most beautiful hands,’ ” Trump said at a rally in Columbus, Ohio, on Super Tuesday.
– via CNN

But at the debate things went south.

As the Republican presidential debate got underway in Detroit, Trump took the opportunity to rebut something that Florida Sen. Marco Rubio had teased him about earlier in the week.

He held up his hands to the audience. “Look at those hands. Are they small hands?

“He referred to my hands, ‘if they’re small, something else must be small.’ I guarantee you there’s no problem. I guarantee.”
– via The Huffington Post


Can we get Melania to vouch for that? I mean she would know, right?

Melania Trump

Hmmmm. Does that face say: “It’s great again?

So anyway, if “size” is now a necessary qualification, we need someone to administer the system and a standard of measurement. So I propose we create the Linear Manly Assets Organization (LMAO) which can administer and verify all claims of penile proportions.

And as for the standard of measurement: I propose the Napoleon.


Now that is a bone apart.

Sorry couldn’t resist.


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