America, do you need an intervention?
This Cheeto thing is getting out of hand. You ate the whole bag and found a surprise president inside. And now he’s throwing tantrums in public.
I know that you’re depressed.
And I get the drinking, I really do, in fact I’m drinking right now.
But there’s only so much self-destructive behavior you can indulge in before you too far.
And America, you’re nearing the edge.
It’s right there…
next to the Cheeto donut…
I’m begging you.