Mars A-Taps!

Mars A-Taps

Early this morning, pre-sentient Trump tweeted that he has conclusive proof that Mars is tapping his brain.

According to the supreme cheeto:

“The losers on Mars are trying to make me appear crazy. Sad!”

White House sources report that they have all been ordered to wear tin-foil hats to “screw Mars.”

Kellyanne Conway was later photographed sporting the new hat while sitting on a couch with her shoes on. When asked for comment, Ms. Conway said: “The hat really works. I can guarantee you that no Martians have tapped my brain since I’ve donned it. And I expect the Ivanka branded hats will be even better!”

Kellyanne tinfoil hat

Mars could not be reached for comment.


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