Early this morning, pre-sentient Trump tweeted that he has conclusive proof that Mars is tapping his brain.
According to the supreme cheeto:
“The losers on Mars are trying to make me appear crazy. Sad!”
White House sources report that they have all been ordered to wear tin-foil hats to “screw Mars.”
Kellyanne Conway was later photographed sporting the new hat while sitting on a couch with her shoes on. When asked for comment, Ms. Conway said: “The hat really works. I can guarantee you that no Martians have tapped my brain since I’ve donned it. And I expect the Ivanka branded hats will be even better!”
Mars could not be reached for comment.