Dear readers, are you confused about the Guardians of Parsimoniousness’ (GOP) latest health bill, the American Health Care Act? Do you wonder how such a bill could ever be considered, much less passed? Do you believe that “health care” doesn’t mean what the Garrulous Old People think it means?
Then, dear reader, you must first understand that in this case the term “health care” is not applied to people.
Oh no, dear reader, it is referring to insurance companies.
Ah, yes, now you see…..
The brilliant deviousness of this bait and switch. Instead of guaranteeing PEOPLE health care, it is guaranteeing the health of companies.
And let’s face it, people aren’t able to purchase politicians like companies can. While you are busy voting and marching and painting cute slogans for your kids, companies are giving billions of dollars to politicians.
There really is no comparison.
And we have to put America First! And companies always come first in America.
So when you go in for your next check-up and you get a bill for $$$, pay it knowing that you have helped keep an insurance company from homelessness.
And we can all feel good about that.
AND NOW FOR A WORD FROM OUR SPONSOR….
Reader, do you have trouble resolving the cognitive dissonance of our times?
Do find yourself avoiding the news? Your twitter feed? And any source of information just to keep from banging your head against hard objects?
Have you looked longingly at your ice pick and googled “how to give yourself a lobotomy”?
Yes, we have all been there. Why just the other day I did a shot of bleach with Ajax and a lime.
But there is a better way, my friend.
Thanks to the ingenious people at B.I.G. Pharma, there is StupudFX a new drug that induces a near comatose condition for up to 6 hours. Taken three times daily, StupudFX drastically reduces the anxiety of thought. In some cases, patients have reportedly complete ignorance.
And we all know that ignorance is bliss.
Warning: using StupudFX while liberal has been shown to cause harmful side effects such as death. If you cannot afford your prescription for StupudFX, please call B.I.G. Pharma at 1-800-TUF-LUCK.
StupudFX, because these days you really don’t want to think….